spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
