people are starting to question the shark bite story
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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