Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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