I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
