Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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