The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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