I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
