God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
