plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
