I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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