he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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