I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
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Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
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Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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