pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
