I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
