The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
