GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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