Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
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Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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