Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
