If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
