I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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