Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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