I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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