so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
