ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
