we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
