at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
