I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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