So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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