Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
