Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My breasts were aching with rage.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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