Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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