The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We have started to decorate penises.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
