Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
did i just pee glitter
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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