No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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