I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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