Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
