Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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