girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize