Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
