do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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