Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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