i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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