lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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