He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
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So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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