just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
