Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We got so high we made milksteak
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
