so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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