Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
you had me at cake vodka
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
