Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Do you still have your period?

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(512): View more from Texas

OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!

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(913): View more from Kansas

You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #

(816): View more from Missouri

ah tequila...

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(214): View more from Texas

things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's

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(619): View more from California

So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol

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(319): View more from Iowa

we live vicariously through your huge boobs

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