I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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