Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
