SEEEEXXX PLEASE
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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