Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My breasts were aching with rage.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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