i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
