Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.

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(509): View more from Washington

He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.

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(404): View more from Georgia

he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off

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(713): View more from Texas

I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.

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(719): View more from Colorado

The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom

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(708): View more from Illinois

We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break

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(315): View more from New York

Verdict: uncircumcised.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.

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