you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
