You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
