Define "chronic" masturbator.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
