I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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