Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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