he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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