Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
