My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
