Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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