he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the condom got lost in my hair
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
