i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
