come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
