I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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