is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
