you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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