let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
